I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
