He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hippo gnu deer
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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