it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize