is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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