I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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