Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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