My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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