He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize