This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
