If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
