sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
