brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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