When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize