Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm really busy with my period
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