I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
