32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
