so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
