god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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