Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
