Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
