im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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