did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
