As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
