The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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