I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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