Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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