Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
