When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
