where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i was born a porn star she said
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
