she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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