brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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