He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
