Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
