How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
