yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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