Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
