Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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