And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
