I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
