if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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