She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize