shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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