you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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