Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Randomize
