I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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