She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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