"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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