I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
from now on my penis is your penis
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize