I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize