Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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