We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
