Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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