I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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