I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
be right there i have to get my cape
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
