For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I have aggressive nipples.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
