doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
