All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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