Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
