We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
