he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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