So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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