You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize