so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
