I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize