White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
